Just started following a new series Game of Thrones and I must say that its additive and has story that keep me wanting to know more. But it may not be for all though as its has quite a bit of nudity and graphic. Am glad for unifi ;D
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Have been analyzing for sometime changes since the boys were born and been thinking why I have been feeling that way. Among the things I enjoy is to see others enjoy the company of the boys. I enjoy it no less with some of my family members but most of the time in their presence feel like am less of a parent, always under scrutiny, and never seem to be doing things right. As a result of that I withdraw and talk little about the boys... when I do talk about them, I come to a repeated realization that less is better which leaves me feeling less that am not a good parent.
I used to enjoy and look forward to spending time with family then... and among the things that saddens me and ashamed to say is that I don't look forward to it as much as I used to and feel apprehensive and guarded when I do spend that time.
Sometimes I wish I could have that similar relationship back... I wonder sometimes whether I made the right decision of choosing the boys caretakers while I was away at work. This was among the things I wanted to avoid being in this type of situation. It's not my intention of taking way time with the boys.... but I still wonder whether it would have been better long term for relationship sake.
Sigh... but I can no longer turn back the clock... it is what it is...
Reading what I wrote it all sounds that its about me? I ask often how should I handle this centred on Him... and am still struggling...
Its late now and it was a busy day that it was difficult to be able to get any pics for a pic today. Till the next day then.
Have been analyzing for sometime changes since the boys were born and been thinking why I have been feeling that way. Among the things I enjoy is to see others enjoy the company of the boys. I enjoy it no less with some of my family members but most of the time in their presence feel like am less of a parent, always under scrutiny, and never seem to be doing things right. As a result of that I withdraw and talk little about the boys... when I do talk about them, I come to a repeated realization that less is better which leaves me feeling less that am not a good parent.
I used to enjoy and look forward to spending time with family then... and among the things that saddens me and ashamed to say is that I don't look forward to it as much as I used to and feel apprehensive and guarded when I do spend that time.
Sometimes I wish I could have that similar relationship back... I wonder sometimes whether I made the right decision of choosing the boys caretakers while I was away at work. This was among the things I wanted to avoid being in this type of situation. It's not my intention of taking way time with the boys.... but I still wonder whether it would have been better long term for relationship sake.
Sigh... but I can no longer turn back the clock... it is what it is...
Reading what I wrote it all sounds that its about me? I ask often how should I handle this centred on Him... and am still struggling...
Its late now and it was a busy day that it was difficult to be able to get any pics for a pic today. Till the next day then.
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